Court of Questionable Decisions
SHOULD I ADOPT A RACCOON?
FAMOUS CASE #24812 — THE COURT HAS RULED
CASE #24812😈 DEFENSE
“Adopt a raccoon as an emotional support animal”
VERDICT: NOT GUILTYCourtroom certainty: 89%
- Raccoons have tiny hands, which means superior emotional handshakes.
- They are nocturnal — perfect for your anxiety’s opening hours.
- A trash panda cannot judge your trash decisions.
- Cats had their century. It is time.
- Loyalty is loyalty, even with a face mask.
CLOSING STATEMENT
The defense asks the jury: who among us has not wanted a chaotic little accomplice?
Free. No login. The court sees all.
ALSO ON THE DOCKET